As babies, we enter this world wide open to receive, share and to have experiences. Unfortunately, if our family of origin is co-dependent, dysfunctional, critical, negative or addictive, then what we receive as love may come with lots of strings attached, family patterns and emotional baggage. Because of our naïve vulnerability, we soak it all in because we need to be loved.
When our source of love is riddled with energetic/ emotional ‘garbage’ as such, it doesn’t feel so good. It hurts. It also paves the way for our future understanding of love. Our blueprint has been imprinted with unhealthy understandings of love and it has painful feelings attached to it. We have not yet learned discernment and the ability to sort. That comes much later after the damage is already done.
Our early vulnerability can set the pattern of rigid control in later life. Because we could not control how we received, and what we received early on, now we block everything out, creating a wall around our hearts.
Our feelings, our innocence and openness have all been suppressed and closed off for our own safety. We learned the painful heart feelings before and we don’t want them to happen again- so we wall it off by setting barricades of protection and control.
Our relationships suffer. We attract the same type of partner again and again, each time upset that they are not emotionally available, when they are only a mirror reflection of ourselves.
How can we heal the heart and open to love when we remember the pain?
We have to give the love to ourselves first. We begin by listening, hearing our inner voice and whispers that come from the heart. We open and allow those trapped feelings to emerge and be expressed. We begin by loving our self.
When we give the heart the love it craves, the defenses begin to fall, the tears begin to flow and the control begins to relax a bit. We are breaking through the boundaries and are finally being nourished. We have the ability to choose how to love our self. We learn to sort the love that comes from others from the emotional strings that are attached to it.
We open to love with filters in place- ready to sort and clarify that which is being received. It makes it safer to accept the love that others offer. Once we have sorted, we have the power to choose what is worthy of receiving because it feels good, and what doesn’t. It’s up to us now.
© 2006 Jodie Foster
healing the heart, mind body healing, love, Life